About two months ago the artist “Milow” released a new single and it has been slowly rising in the charts in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. It was no doubt intended as a kind of laid-back, summer, love song. However hearing it and seeing the music video has left me feeling incredibly creeped out. Take a look:
I will be going through the the songtext bit by bit and explain why it is so disturbing.
He starts off with this:
I wish you smelled a little funny
Not just funny really bad
We could roam the streets forever
Just like cats but we’d never stray
I sometimes wish you were a mermaid
I could raise you in the tub at home
We could take a swim together
On weekly day trips to the bay
Here the singer is wishing that she, presumably his girlfriend, would smell so bad that no one would interact with her, but him; and that she has no legs so she can’t leave him. He’d be essentially keeping her as a pet.
I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay
I often wish that you had feathers
I’d keep you in a giant cage
All day long I’d sit and watch you
I’d sing for you and that would be okay
The being so fat that she would be unable to leave the house part really disturbs me. It reminds me of feeders, which is a horrifying form of abuse where the abuser (usually a man) literally feeds his victim (usually a woman) and keeps her docile, so that her body loses all it’s strength and she can literally not get out of bed. It is a very physical way of making a woman meek and vulnerable so he is in total control of her.
I don’t think I need to say it, but what person would want to lock someone up in a cage, particular someone he claims to care about. It is a human rights violation to rob someone of their freedom. It’s not even remotely caring or romantic. No one has the right to do this to another person and this is what we’re being sold as “romantic” here.
I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away
I really wish that you were smaller
Not just small but really really short
So I could put you in my pocket
And carry you around all day
In the last chorus the described abuse gets even several degrees worse. Paralyzed? Really? Why not turn her into a statue, as her life clearly doesn’t matter to you. Also, wanting to turn a woman into a Barbie doll is beyond creepy.
There are a great many things you’ll find in male/mainstream media that is being sold to us as something we women should want for ourselves, that it is romantic and a situation in life you can fantasize about. I, however, don’t know of a single woman who wants to be treated like that by any man. Almost every line of this song is horrendously abusive and would, in many nations, get someone thrown in jail for treating a partner like that.
What is described however, is the ideal woman for many heterosexual men; a woman who can’t take care of herself at all so he can steer her, control her and dominate her. Her personality and humanity just don’t matter, as long as she is there and his personal property to do with as he wishes, she is “the ideal”.
This is hardly the only or worst example of this kind of mainstream thinking, but it is a very obvious one and if you like around you, you can see that this is a recurring theme in western “romance”. Twilight would be another example, and that is sold to teenage girls with little to no experiences with relationships of their own.